I know what you’re thinking – aren’t the two concepts of wildness and balance diametrically opposed?  With balance one might think in terms of moderation, even keel, and don’t ruffle the feathers.  Wild, on the other hand, brings up images of out of control, excess, extremes, binges – Lindsey Lohan on a night on the town.

While both of those descriptions might be true, I’m going to offer up a slightly different version of wild.  For me, wild can also be letting go, stepping outside of the daily box, the routines, the comfort zone.  Wild can be a surge of energy flowing through the body in the form of excitement that is just on the edge of hysteria (and I’ll stay on this side of that edge, thank you!).  Wild can mean indulging in a way that feels decadent.  Wild can be MORE and A LOT. Wild can be all that – and still be in balance.

For me, being wild and still staying in balance comes down to how I choose to express the underlying energy of my wildness.  What outlets am I going to use to channel my letting go, my stretching, my release?  The energy is the wild part, the channels are my balance.

Last week I had a restless itch – my cue that I needed a bit of wild.  How did I choose to scratch that wild itch?  I used three channels or outlets – shopping, food, and a fun but new and different movement (and hear a little but uncomfortable) called Zumba.

If you know me, you might be surprised by my first outlet because I don’t really like to shop.  But everyone once in awhile I do get the urge and one of the places I choose to go, where I can fully indulge in loading my cart up to the top and not ever worry about going out of my financial balance, is my local Goodwill. 

I like the Goodwill for several reasons.

• It supports my values of recycling
• Thanks to living in an affluent area, it has great clothes at unbelievable prices if you’re willing to sort through the racks.  Since I don’t value clothes at the level that I’m often willing to pay large chunks of money, it lines up how I feel about clothes with what I want to pay yet still give me great clothes that make me feel good.
• I can go wild, buy 3 skirts and 9 shirts and only spend $42.

The second place I nurtured my out-of-bounds energy was with food.  Now, if I had chosen to do this with ice cream, I might have enjoyed the moment but I can tell you that I wouldn’t have felt good after the fact.  And I do know this from experience:)  But this day I was craving a salad (truly it wasn’t wanting the ice cream but settling for the salad I “should” eat) –  because the cool of the salad was the perfect antidote to all this heat that I have so not been enjoying.  I went wild by adding practically every vegetable I had in my fridge (romaine, basil, fennel, carrots, tomatoes, grated zucchini, cucumbers, purple cabbage, red pepper) and topped it off with toasted sunflower seeds, dried cranberries and homemade Italian dressing. 

No, it may not have been wild in the sense of a different food or a forbidden fruit, but what it did give me was the ability to eat a large quantity – two big bowls in fact.  Because I was in a hungry phase that day and I really wanted to EAT.  Hunger isn’t bad; rather it is a cue.  I wanted to acknowledge and take care of the hunger in a BIG way without feeling the backlash of other choices.  And it did the job – satisfied me physically, mentally, and emotionally (because I added the crunch and the sweet).  I felt like I could go wild and really fill up and it was the quantity that felt indulgent.

The last outlet was provided by a timely Zumba partywon by a friend at an auction.  I love to move and enjoy new things.  So when the e-vite hit my email inbox, I immediately said YES.  It was fun, freeing, and a bit of work trying to move my body in the way that the teacher, Lisa Bull, made look so easy but was not actually easy for us mere novices.  Still, I stood in the front row and did my best to shimmy, wiggle my hips and just try to keep up.  My wild bug that was fulfilled through this outlet is what I would define as my bored-with-the same-exercise bug.  I needed to shake things up in terms of my routine and shake I did.  I don’t know that I will stay with Zumba but I am definitely feeling inspired to take a Salsa dancing class – and need a partner since my husband is not interested!
 
My day of wild is now passed.  I feel content having expressed the energy.  Content to settle back into my routines for another stretch of time…until the next call of the wild comes along.

The reminder of this concept showed up for me last week.  I was busy getting ready for the Relax and Renew Retreat I’m leading to Costa Rica next week.  And as so often happens when getting ready for time away, my schedule was jammed full of trip preparation, finishing up projects, dealing with the normal flow of life, and studying.  The scene of “too much” was set, the potential for overload ripe.  And what took me over the edge?  You guessed it, the lure of just one more.

In my case, my “just one more” was working at the computer on my Audio Yoga Class updates which I was really wanting to get finished by the end of January.  The project has many different pieces for each class and I’m working on eight different classes.  To make matters more interesting, I’m coordinating with two different people, one who is doing the illustrations and one who is doing all the review.  In other words, I’m not in complete control!

So it was as I was spending a large chunk of time on this project that instead of realizing that I really wasn’t going to be able to finish all the classes and move on to deal with some of the other legitimate needs that I stayed glued to my computer thinking, “I’ll finish just this one more class.”  And over the edge I went.  Suddenly I was running behind in the kid and household activities and my stress levels soared and my friend imbalance reared its lovely head.

Luckily my foundation is fairly balanced and I recognized that I had crossed the line very quickly and took steps to counterbalance the situation – such as mentally letting go of the project whole and being satisfied with having two classes completed, getting off the computer and taking 30 minutes to do yoga and meditation, and going to bed with a good book and cup of tea.  But if I hadn’t stopped the slide down that slippery slope of imbalance, I could have ended up like my husband who has gotten a nasty chest cold (he finally has stopped his slide by taking the day off from work today to rest).

Take care of your own state of balance with this simple 3 step approach:

• Identify your greatest area of “just one more” or what is up for you in the moment and ideally stop before the critical one more.
• Know the signs of imbalance in your body, mind and life of what happens when you go over the edge.
• Come up with a list of effective counterbalances that if you do cross over the line that you can use to stop the slide and bring you back to health.

As always, being aware is the first step.  Pause today and see where you are at.

One of the ways we were practicing focus was to keep the mind centered on the breath to help hold the postures, many of which were challenging as the yoga set was around abdominal strengthening.  In holding a pose, paying attention to the breath can help one rise above the distractions in the external environment, in the mind, and in the distractions coming from the body in the form of discomfort.  In fact,the power of the mind is equally as important as the strength in the body to hold the yoga pose or succeed in life – it is the mental focus that helps us stretch enough to sometimes get the job done. 

Yet I also believe and tell students that they need to pay attention to the cues from the body in order to stay within the space of doing their best and not more than their best.   Which means that there is a balance point to how far you can stretch yourself without negative results which arise from going beyond your capabilities.   And it is around this point that the interesting realizations showed up for people…how to blend the two concepts of focus to stretch and grow and the balance of listening to the big picture.

One mom was so focused on holding her breath that while she was able to hold the pose and get through it, she also became a little light headed because she was breathing so strongly.  It was an easy correction.  She simply took a break and then started the next exercise but it brought up a valuable talking point at the end.  Likewise, my daughter, in trying to focus on holding one pose longer in order to keep up with her friend, went beyond her limit in one pose and her back felt sore at the end.  Both cases represented, at least to me, a subconscious focus on an external expectation at the expense of being fully present and listening to one’s needs.

At the end of class we had time to share and reflect.  In talking about focus, it became clear to us all that single minded focus could be helpful but also had some serious side effects.  The general consensus was that focus is important but needs to be held within the balance of the big picture.  And one needs to clarify where to put the focus and the role that expectations play in setting the focus.  There are times when that absolute focus is needed for survival but there can be a cost to the short term. 

What’s your view on focus and your experience with the blend of concentration and balance?

In expanding my business alongside seeing my current clientele and taking care of needs at home, I often feel like I have more to do than I have time for.   And this happens day after day after day.  Sometimes pushing hard to get a specific project done is needed and worthwhile; however, because my tasks are more constant than isolated, living in the space of all work and no pause doesn’t serve me.  Yet, I find that I can often get stuck in that “doing all the time” mode.

Yesterday was a similar day.  I had two meetings and a class which took up a large chunk of my day leaving me feeling like I hadn’t had time to work on some other items that needed addressing.  Yet I also acknowledged that I hadn’t exercised the day before nor had I done the amount of yoga I was looking for.  So for today, I want to acknowledge that I was able to set aside my compulsion to keep going and instead made a different choice…a choice to nourish me inside and out.  After getting the kids moving towards bed and their reading space, I took the time to ride my exercise bike, do a set of yoga, enjoy two meditations and then deeply renewed with a long corpse pose while listening to yogic music.  Then, instead of acting on the inspiration I received in my meditation, I simply wrote down the threads of key thoughts and went to bed!  Which allowed me to rise this morning earlier and ground in with some morning rituals, office organization, and computer tasks before starting my day.  How refreshing.

I acknowledge myself for taking care of myself with nourishing activities that recharge not only my body but my spirit and allow me to move through life with greater balance and ease.

A common pattern with a high task list is to put your blinders on and plow through the best you can…at the expense of everything else in your life.  While this might work if you had a specific project that had to be done and was time limited; however, often when we finish one pressurized task list there is simply another to take its place so the pattern is never ending.   And this leads to a dangerous pattern which can create imbalance in your life and your health.

Being in the space of task only focused can create many imbalances: 

• The constant expectations leave you feeling continuously stressed and over long periods of time can even lead to conditions such as Adrenal Fatigue.  The adrenals produce the hormone adrenalin which gives you that boost of extra energy is high stress times.  While this is great in short moments, if you constantly live in this space and the adrenals are always needing to be ramped up, they will eventually fatigue and become depleted.
• Staying on task for an intense period often means being in the same position for long periods doing repetitive motions and this creates tightness and sometimes overload in the muscles.  This could apply to finishing a project on the computer, wanting to get the whole yard weeded in one sitting, or even painting a room.  Especially if the end is in sight, you might be more drawn to working beyond to capacity to finish the job and then end up with a physical crisis like a pulled muscle or muscle spasm. 
• Being singly focused, even for seemingly short periods of time, can create imbalance in your personal life, leaving your family and friends feeling unhappy and neglected in the process.  This is turn can lead to guilt, a sense of failure to hold your multiple roles well, and disconnect within yourself.

By shifting the way you look at those distractions, you can create a new pattern which will give you less stress and physical tension, greater peace in the family, a sense of balance in yourself, and even better results in your projects.  Instead of viewing distractions as…well annoying distractions which pull you off task, I invite you to consider them as tools for balance.  Yes, welcome in these distractions such as needing to the bathroom, take your child to piano, cook dinner, go to a meeting…whatever pulls you off task because they are creating a valuable pause for your body and your mind.

These are some of the benefits of having a pause that leads you into balance:

• From a physical perspective, the distraction serves as an opportunity to stretch the body, give your posture a break, and take a breath.  When you get out of the repetitive position, your body has a chance to remember it can move in other ways and can find a better posture pattern.  Add a couple quick stretches to facilitate the shift, and your body will thank you.  Over time this can also avoid not only crisis injuries but even reduce the decline in spinal wear and tear.
• Mentally, the pause will allow you to come back to your project with new energy and perspective.  Many times when on a set task, you may be forced into creating when you don’t really have the inspiration or spark.  By taking a break, you allow your mind time to percolate on the task.  When you return, often the ideas flow more freely and you are more effective in creating quality piece of work.
• Socially, you honor your connection to others when you make time stop work and be with friends and family.  There is a reason we have the saying, “All work and no play makes Jamie dull…or unhappy.”  Being enmeshed in one task is not balanced for you or your family.

So the next time you are working in the midst of your latest and greatest project and you get interrupted, instead of grousing in frustration, I invite you to welcome in the opportunity to pause and be grateful for the reminder to find your moment of re-balance.

I do acknowledge that both my kids have the same set of symptoms which on the surface adds credibility to the germ theory of a cold.  However, my son, who’s symptoms are the strongest, does not eat a diet that serves his body…despite my best efforts to provide a whole foods, well rounded meal plan.  You know the saying…”you can lead a horse to water but can’t make it drink”.  So it is with my son who consistently gravitates to everything sweet and salty…kapha foods in the Ayurvedic world.  And too much kapha creates ama (excess toxins) in the form of…mucous! 

I bring this up because my body has a similar reaction to excess kapha foods when I become imbalanced.  Coming off the cleanse, with simple and soothing food, I dove a bit too heartily back into the world of “normal” eating.  On the surface the foods I added back in were healthy but did have more flour based products and dairy, both of which are kapha, than my body may have been ready for.  I might have done OK even then except that Thursday I was at a social gathering and a large part of the meal was rich, dairy heavy with some sweet…and it pushed me right over the edge.  Literally, as soon as I ate the food, I could feel the mucous ramping up and it went downhill from there.

Extra rest and Chinese herbs have me coming back into balance.  The “cold” never completely manifested.  Did I catch it early and switch the course or was it always an internal imbalance created by my food intake…or both?  I think it’s the latter…meaning both.  My food choices created an internal imbalance which allowed me to be more succeptible to the virus.  However, since my overall health is strong, it didn’t take me too long to right the wrong and I’m back on track with a gentle reminder from my BodyMind to toe my line of food balance a little more carefully at the moment.

And all of that experience is perfect.  Because I just keep learning, listening, and moving forward with new insights and skills.   What are you experiences giving you?

I have been feeling a little frazzled this week.  My heater went out.  My office is in transition.  I have several projects underway.  And I am exploring technology options for my business, a process that sometimes makes my head spin!  Part of the coaching process is to clear whatever might be up that needs to be released before starting the actual coaching…and boy was I clearing these current challenges.  Amidst the clearing, the opportunity arose to focus the session on what was happening for me rather than on the mentor coaching process…and I took it.

My focus to explore today became: how to balance staying in the positive and connected with my flowing energy of my truth and still acknowledge, hear, and clear what shows up in life…these challenges that somehow keep appearing.  Along today’s journey, I realized several important beliefs.  The first is that I do expect life to have ripples, bumps in the road, challenges.  I don’t expect life to flow smooth in a continuous line.  My first choice was whether that belief is true for the nature of life and true for me.  And my answer for today is that I do expect life to have some interesting twists and turns.  However, I made the decision to hold them as “interesting twists and turns” instead of “bumps, ripples, and challenges.”  A subtle word difference but big in how the energy of it feels to me. 

The second belief that came up was that expanding, growing and learning need to have a stretching and challenging component to them.  I had accepted that not only was life full of learning opportunities but they existed within  the challenges (old wording).  That to make a diamond, there needs to be pressure.  That life’s biggest lessons come through our darkest times.  Although I do know that I have the strength, caliber and grace to deal with the challenges and have been holding the positive and powerful space to go through these challenges, I was given the pause today to see if I really wanted to continue to hold the belief  that it has to be a challenge.   Do I want to hold that I need constant challenges, bumps, and ripples in order to learn and expand?  NO! 

I realized that the above statements about growth and challenges are part of a cultural expectation and authority expectation that was taught to me and I had unconsciously agreed to…but I don’t have to hold that belief.  Even as recently as this past year, I was hearing from a marketing mentor that the idea of being in a flow state involves a space of discomfort, of stretching.  That being an entrepreneur means being constantly in the state of discomfort because we are reaching up and above in order to grow.  This is very different than how I feel about flow.  For me, flow is being in intimate connection with my infinite self and alignment and it is so easy, I’m so on, life is flowing.  I am not stretching or feeling discomfort.

These pauses and realizations provided the perfect space to reframe these beliefs that aren’t serving me.  I’m a big believer of creating belief statements which express the energy that I value and is in alignment with my truth.  I use these statements to reframe an old idea and look at it and read it daily to create a new pathway of thinking until it becomes an autonomic belief.  For today, the new statement I came up with is “I am open to expanding my life and living my fullest truth while accepting the opportunities and exploring the interesting twist and turns as they arise with comfort and ease.”

I’ll let you know how it feels over the next days and weeks.  However, I can tell you now, that simply having the Aha and creating the new statement made me feel light, lifted a load off my chest, and put a smile on my face.  And for today, which is all I have right now, it’s perfect!

What do you need to clarify in a moment of pause?