How Childhood Patterns Shape Actions Today

Lurking in your subconscious are beliefs, habits and patterns that you developed in childhood.  Even though today you may not consciously connect to those old beliefs or patterns, they can still be shaping your actions today. 

The great part is that by becoming aware of how the mind organizes itself through patterns and by learning ways to consciously become aware of old patterns, you can begin to consciously create patterns that serve who you are today instead of who you were 10, 20 or 30 years ago.

The process of pattern changing and creation has five different aspects:

1. Having a greater understanding about the nature of habits and patterns and what they represent
2. Identifying your habits and bringing the unconscious elements of the pattern to the surface
3. Evalutating which habits serve you today and which ones need changing or modifying
4. Honoring and acknowledging how pattern served you in the past if it isn’t serving you so you can release it
5. Modifying and changing the patterns that need updating

A client of mine, Marcy (name changed), last week had a piece of this pattern awareness show up for her in our session.  Marcy wakes up every day between 5-6 am but finds that she can’t get up despite the fact that her body doesn’t feel as good when she stays in bed.  She was trying to identify why if she is being awakened by her body in a way that feels right and natural to her, she doesn’t have the will to get up. 

Often we associated willpower as the culprit in not being able to make a change or follow a natural cue from the body-mind.  However, the truth is often that is has less to do with willpower than with not understanding the underlying patterning and legitimate need the body-mind is trying to honor.

In Marcy’s case, she realized that as a child she would wake at this same 5-6 am but her parents, who didn’t want to wake up or have her get up, gave her a very strong message that it was not ok to wake up at that time.  As soon as she connected these pieces, it became very clear to her that her continuing to stay in bed after she woke up was a remnant of that old childhood message and pattern.

In this case, her old childhood pattern was in conflict with a current need.  Once she was able to recognize where the conflict was coming from and understand the two pieces, she was able to step into the place of deciding how she wanted to alter the pattern.

I will be teaching a coaching workshop on this very topic of “How Childhood Patterns Shape Actions Today”on Tuesday, February 2, 6:15-7:15 pm.  If you find that you seem to be reacting today in ways that don’t seem aligned with who you are or you want to change your patterns, I invite you to come explore!

Finding my “Best” With Waking Up

I have been exploring my balance with when to wake up for the past year.  This may sound like a no-brainer…wake up when the body says to or when one has to get up.  However, ever since I did my yoga teacher training in which the expectation was set out that not only is it ideal to wake up 1-2 hours before sunrise, but that it’s also ideal to do a specified 2.5 hours of yoga and meditation, I have been exploring my truth in waking.

During my teacher training, I pretty much adhered to the yogic ideal for waking early though I did not hold strictly to the 2.5 hours of the Aquarian yoga set…and felt good starting my day in such a fashion.  However, I also noticed that I was stressed about this waking process, so much so that I would have restless sleep, disturbed dreams, and a conscious level of resistance.  In the past year I have been exploring what this resistance is about.  I let go of the expectation to get up at a specified time and allowed myself to do my yoga whenever it felt right during the day.  I recognized that with my ongoing output of energy for my business expansion, my expectation for yoga was becoming another “to do” item on my list rather than a joyful celebration and self connection.

In releasing myself from the yogic expectation, my stress level around yoga and waking did go down.  However, not only did I find myself doing less consistent yoga, but I also noticed that I have been slipping into a pattern of over-sleeping which has me feeling groggy and lethargic.  It’s almost as if I’ve gone too far in the opposite direction in reaction to the initial expectation..  I feel like a child flaunting my independence -  rebelling with behaviors that don’t really serve me but send a message that I’m in charge.  And I now have a message when my body naturally wakes me around 4:30-5:30 that I don’t want to get up and don’t have to.  I have slipped into resistance as a habit!

To try to bring myself back to a neutral ground, I have decided to do another experiment.  For the next 40 days (I started this morning), I’m going to get up daily at 5 am or whenever my body wakes naturally around that time.  This is to try to re-set my timing back to it’s natural state and play with the ideal yogic time.  Yet, I’m going to honor myself each day in the moment I am by listening to what I want to do once I wake up.  Rather than having a specific expectation of doing X amount of yoga and meditation and exercise, I’m going to listen to my BodyMind and see what I need.  I’m going to practice being the neutral observer and simply notice what’s happening for me. 

No surprise but last night I dreamt about getting up and woke several times.  I finally got up 15 minutes before my alarm was set to go off.  I rode my bike for 20 minutes being mindful that I was sore in strange places from my 3.5 hours of yard work yesterday.  I did a lovely yoga set at half time, also listening to my lower levels of energy.  And now I’m peacefully doing a couple things on the computer before I go to do some cooking to support myself for the day.  I feel good. If I set aside the mental stumbling block I’ve unintentionally created, I welcome the idea of waking early and being able to enjoy these peaceful moments before the kids wake and the busy day starts.

For today, I am trying to hold the AND of these energies…the guideline for waking early for ideal health with honoring my best in each moment as I listen to what I need and am capable of.  For today, I’m liking it!