Children – An Opportunity To Practice Not Reacting

Part of my yoga practice is to rise above the distractions and attachments, become linked with myInfinite Self, and step beyond the the cycle of reacting to the external world.  As a parent, I find that my children provide me with the most amazing opportunity to practice my skills in not reacting.  And these days, with a teenager in the house, I am getting a lot of practice!

My daughter was gone last week.  She had a great time with her cousins, aunt and uncle in Florida.  And though I missed her, it was also very quiet and peaceful around the house with one less energy bouncing around creating reactions.  Naturally we all play a role in our reaction patterns, but it was interesting to see that the energy my daughter has in this moment as an almost 14 year old, really is a bit of a volitile substance.

The first night she was back was lovely…catching up on her trip, sharing stories, enjoying the homecoming.  I was basking in the joy of our connection and admiring her humor and insights and how grown up she seemed.  The next day, the warm fuzzies had worn off and back was the rude voice, the attitude, and the strange need she has to take offense at whatever her brother is doing or saying.   And off went my reactions.  It was so much easier to stay centered when there was no opposing energetic force!

The pause and re-start of the reaction pattern gave me a great opportunity to consciously look at what is happening.  I know that I don’t have any control over her behavior and choices in the sense that she is learning about relationships and expression.  I do have control over what I will allow as acceptable behavior and conversation, and how I choose to speak and act in the moment.  And I know that as the parent I have the opportunity to put my words into action and model the behavior of action versus reaction, good conversation versus emotionally venting.

Do I have a plan of action?  Not really.  I have a lot of awareness of what hasn’t been working and I have the willingness to continue striving.  And each day I meditate and ask for the grace to be the best I can be in any given moment.  I am not perfect in my ability to not react in any situation but I am practicing and learning more each day on how I can hold a different space…even if it’s just for a few moments in time.  And for that, I am thankful.