Transitioning To A New Pattern

Transitioning to a new pattern can be liberating but can also feel uncomfortable.  This is true even when the new pattern is healthier and where you want to be.  Why?  Because even though an old pattern may not serve you well, you are habituated to it.  In other words, that old pattern is comfortable, known, and having been around for a long time, feels normal.

Now along comes the new pattern that you have usually consciously worked to create and suddenly you notice that it is feeling a bit odd, strange, not quite right, even possibly scary.  You may find that your inner critic pops to the surface to make note of the choice you made to leave the known and comfortable behind and instead explore this new unknown.  This is the point when it can be really easy to fall right back into that old pattern.

But take heart, because if you can ride the wave of discomfort with a neutral mind (say no thanks to the input from your inner critic) and hang in there for a short time, you will quickly find yourself becoming habituated to this new pattern.  It may take a couple weeks or even a month.  In Yogic science it is said that it takes 40 days to change a habit and 90 days to create a new one.  That can sound long, but remember that along the way subtle shifts take place so that it feels easier and easier.  Then one day…poof…the new, uncomfortable pattern has taken on the role of the known and you don’t even think about it.  When you reach that state of having no conscious thoughts about the pattern, the transition is over and you have accepted the new pattern into the fold!

I have been observing this process with one of my own patterns lately.  At first I wasn’t even aware of what was happening.  Oh I knew that after having been an Uberworker last year that I was looking for greater simplicity and balance, but beyond that I wasn’t giving it much thought.  Then I noticed that I was doing a lot more of what I was labeling “escaping” and it was happening, gasp, during the day.  This is shocking because my old productivity pattern was that I worked doing business or household stuff pretty much 99% during the day and it was only when the sun set that I felt entitled to relax, usually with a book. 

Over the past month, I have been reading numerous books both day and night, watching more movies and tv shows, and even spending more time with friends at time slots that normally I do work.  And here’s the final kicker, instead of getting up early to exercise or do yoga, I was staying in bed longer and getting up and reading.  Yikes, what was happening?!  A part of me has been thoroughly enjoying this down time and after my past year on the wheel of all business and little play, it felt ok for a bit…like a counterbalance.  But there was also a part of me that was judging this behavior as lazy and not quite ok.

Then it hit me.   Limiting my work to smaller chunks of time, enjoying more relaxation and fun, being flexible and flowing, having a better balance in my life…these are the core components I have been wanting.  These are elements that I value strongly.  I only want to work part time.  I want lots of time to explore and simply be, enjoying life.  I want to live in the space of flow where I check and see what I want in each moment rather than going off a script that my mind thinks I should be doing.  I am living how I want…but my mind was still used to being in the old pattern.

Once I wrapped my head around the shift, I was able to let go of the critic and more consciously enjoy this new space…and keep refining it.  I still am not done transitioning, but now that I’m aware of what’s going on, I sure feel a lot better about it.