And the answer I received was “go back to the Asthanga standing pose series”.  For those of you unfamiliar with the Asthanga yoga tradition, the standing series is comprised of 18 poses with sun salutations done in between each of the poses.  It is a very strengthening and aerobic series but also increases flexibility and opens up much of the legs, hips and back. 

For the past six months, I have been doing more quieting yoga poses and longer meditation – which apparently haven’t been enough to support the time I’m spending at the computer and my other daily activities which tighten me up.  So I decided to go back to my roots, as I started my yoga practice with the Ashtanga tradition, and re-ground myself with this fabulous series.

And after just two days, my hip pain was gone!  However, I also noticed in doing the series just how tight I was in some areas and how weak my balance seemed to be.  Yikes!  It was a wake-up call that I need to pay this old yoga friend a more regular visit just to make sure I keep things open and flowing, strong and balanced.  That said, I’ve decided to do the series once a week and blend it in with my other days of gentle stretching and longer meditation and some days of specific Kundalini yoga sets.

And this is what I LOVE about yoga – there are so many ways to support myself on all levels of body, mind and spirit.  It’s simply knowing and remembering what tools to pull out of my tool kit at the different times.  And it was a great reminder that there is no right or wrong, no better or worse when it comes to the different yoga styles and traditions.  Rather each style has its own unique gifts which serve us at different times.

So thank you hip pain for re-connecting me with all that yoga is and thank you to all the teachers who have shared with me the possibilities so that I can support myself at any time.

Although I was a presenter as well as a participant during this retreat, I went in with the intention that there would be nuggets of treasure for me personally and professionally.  I try to set an intention before events, even if  it is the general intention that something positive will happen.  The intention helps me step into the space of receiving even if the event is around topics I already know.  Because even though the topic might be familiar, every person will talk about it differently and there are always deeper layers to be explored.

And receive and explore I did!

Here are some of my nuggets:

• The game Satori – this game comes from Colin Tipping and his Radical Forgiveness programs.  It is a board game where you pick up a current belief and storyline and gather blocks and other information along the way to help you transform your belief and create a new story line for your life.  Make note that while this is a “game”, what shows up is absolutely real and provides a great structure to process something that is holding you back.  I already ordered my copy and am trying to decide who I can invite to my first Satori game night.
• Scott Kalechstein- a funny, amazingly gifted modern day troubadour and inspirational speaker.  He has many CD’s with songs that use humor and conscious wording to support growth.  He uses wit, words, and wisdom to share his powerful messages about life and the Law of Attraction.
• The awareness that Yoga/Ayurveda and Law of Attraction may speak a different language and use different techniques but underneath there is a whole lot in common as far as universal laws of truth and the power of living consciously go.
• A fun roommate who shares a first name and a passion for whole health.

The retreat was sponsored by Elementals Living and took place at the beautiful Lake Lawn Resort in Delavan, WI.   And considering how affordable the retreat was, less than $200 for all three days of speakers and events plus room and board, I was surprised by the small gathering.  So I’m inviting all of you to put your radars up for events in your areas or even for next year’s Elementals event that you find the places and spaces to take your “Expansion Pause” and discover your own nuggets of treasure.  Give yourself the gift of inspiration, exploration, and time away.   I promise, the rewards will be great!

The reminder of this concept showed up for me last week.  I was busy getting ready for the Relax and Renew Retreat I’m leading to Costa Rica next week.  And as so often happens when getting ready for time away, my schedule was jammed full of trip preparation, finishing up projects, dealing with the normal flow of life, and studying.  The scene of “too much” was set, the potential for overload ripe.  And what took me over the edge?  You guessed it, the lure of just one more.

In my case, my “just one more” was working at the computer on my Audio Yoga Class updates which I was really wanting to get finished by the end of January.  The project has many different pieces for each class and I’m working on eight different classes.  To make matters more interesting, I’m coordinating with two different people, one who is doing the illustrations and one who is doing all the review.  In other words, I’m not in complete control!

So it was as I was spending a large chunk of time on this project that instead of realizing that I really wasn’t going to be able to finish all the classes and move on to deal with some of the other legitimate needs that I stayed glued to my computer thinking, “I’ll finish just this one more class.”  And over the edge I went.  Suddenly I was running behind in the kid and household activities and my stress levels soared and my friend imbalance reared its lovely head.

Luckily my foundation is fairly balanced and I recognized that I had crossed the line very quickly and took steps to counterbalance the situation – such as mentally letting go of the project whole and being satisfied with having two classes completed, getting off the computer and taking 30 minutes to do yoga and meditation, and going to bed with a good book and cup of tea.  But if I hadn’t stopped the slide down that slippery slope of imbalance, I could have ended up like my husband who has gotten a nasty chest cold (he finally has stopped his slide by taking the day off from work today to rest).

Take care of your own state of balance with this simple 3 step approach:

• Identify your greatest area of “just one more” or what is up for you in the moment and ideally stop before the critical one more.
• Know the signs of imbalance in your body, mind and life of what happens when you go over the edge.
• Come up with a list of effective counterbalances that if you do cross over the line that you can use to stop the slide and bring you back to health.

As always, being aware is the first step.  Pause today and see where you are at.

This posture gets its name because it is said to give you the ability to digest rocks – not that I recommend you testing out the name to that degree!   However, it’s beneficial effects on the digestive system are quite valuable as well as it’s ability to make you solid and balanced as a rock.

To come into Rock Pose, begin by kneeling on both knees with the top of the feet on the ground.  Then sit back on the heels.  If you are uncomfortable in this position, you can place a small pillow between your heels and your buttocks.  Keep the spine straight by placing the heels on the sitting bones, lifting the chest and sternum slightly upward, and gently stretch the back of the neck straight by pulling the chin toward the back of the neck.  The head stays level and centered and the muscles of the neck and throat remain loose.

The legs can be apart or together, but try to fit the heels right into the little notch at the top end of your femur, just under your buttocks where the sitting bones are and where there is an acupressure point which invokes a sense of calm and stimulates digestion.

In this position, breathe deeply through the nose, consciously moving the breath into the digestive areas.  Just three minutes a day is a wonderful gift to your digestive system.

In Yogic and Ayurvedic philosophy, the ultimate principle or consciousness in the universe if called Purusha.  It is the spiritual force behind creation.   The entire universe is mirrored inside of each individual…the macrocosm being duplicated in the microcosm.  Therefore, this universal consciousness is reflected within each individual as well and is called the Atman or the soul.  Which means, you have a piece of pure, all knowing consciousness right inside of you!

Want to get in contact with you Atman?  Simply tune in to the frequency of your higher self.  In Yogic science meditation is the method to tap in to the frequency of the internal wisdom.  Although there are many different ways to meditate and different levels of being able to really “abide in the self,” it can be as simple as sitting in a comfortable position with your spine straight, closing your eyes, following the breath with your mind and receiving what is there for you to see and hear.  Then you just follow the leader.  Taking the information you get from inside, follow the actions you are inspired to take.  Doing this daily for just 3-5 minutes will allow you to check in each day with what you need, as your needs will change in each moment.

If this process is new to you, it may not feel easy or comfortable right away.  You may be tempted to stop or give up.  I encourage you to stick with it even if it seems like nothing is happening.  Because each time that you sit with yourself, you are creating an energetic pathway, a neurological memory.  So that the next time you go back, your body begins to know the way.  Like learning a new driving route, the first time there is a lot of looking at the map, maybe some missed turns and frustration.  But each time you drive the route it becomes more familiar until one day you do it without thinking.  It becomes routine.  So too is the path of meditation and connecting in with yourself.  Give yourself the gift of a week of regular practice and see what begins to show up.  Practice will make the process easier.

When I talk about getting permission I am not speaking about the mutual respect we show each other in our relationships when planning schedules or even about seeing if it’s ok to make a large purchase within the family budget.  I’m referring to needing a source of external permission to confirm a need or belief within yourself.

I ran up against this scenario myself about a month ago in regards to how I hold my daily yogic practice.  If you’ve been reading my blog or receiving my E-zine, you likely know that I went through a period of examination around what my yoga practice “should” look like.  I have “should” in there because I picked up an expectation during my Yoga Teacher Training about what the ideal or even “good” yoga practice should be.  It took me a couple years to realize that the expectation wasn’t mine, that I had a choice around whether I wanted to agree with it, and that I needed to see what I wanted and felt right for me.

The final piece of my yoga exploring journey, at least for this time, came during a conversation I had with an Ayurvedic Practitioner I was working with.  This person is trained in yoga as well as its sister science, Ayurveda.  In talking to her about balance and releasing an old pattern, my yoga explorations came up.  She essentially echoed the idea that we all need different things at different times and that the path of listening to my needs and deciding what yoga to do each day was perfect.  Now, I already knew this inside of myself, but somehow I needed that external reflection or permission to really accept what I knew.  I may not like that I needed this from someone else, but for whatever reason, I did.  And with that final piece, came peace.  I was able to truly let go of the big external expectation and follow my truth.

This was a great reminder to me that I really benefit at times from external support and perspectives in balance with my own truth and input.   And that, ultimately, only I have the power to receive or accept the permission even if it is given externally.

Now along comes the new pattern that you have usually consciously worked to create and suddenly you notice that it is feeling a bit odd, strange, not quite right, even possibly scary.  You may find that your inner critic pops to the surface to make note of the choice you made to leave the known and comfortable behind and instead explore this new unknown.  This is the point when it can be really easy to fall right back into that old pattern.

But take heart, because if you can ride the wave of discomfort with a neutral mind (say no thanks to the input from your inner critic) and hang in there for a short time, you will quickly find yourself becoming habituated to this new pattern.  It may take a couple weeks or even a month.  In Yogic science it is said that it takes 40 days to change a habit and 90 days to create a new one.  That can sound long, but remember that along the way subtle shifts take place so that it feels easier and easier.  Then one day…poof…the new, uncomfortable pattern has taken on the role of the known and you don’t even think about it.  When you reach that state of having no conscious thoughts about the pattern, the transition is over and you have accepted the new pattern into the fold!

I have been observing this process with one of my own patterns lately.  At first I wasn’t even aware of what was happening.  Oh I knew that after having been an Uberworker last year that I was looking for greater simplicity and balance, but beyond that I wasn’t giving it much thought.  Then I noticed that I was doing a lot more of what I was labeling “escaping” and it was happening, gasp, during the day.  This is shocking because my old productivity pattern was that I worked doing business or household stuff pretty much 99% during the day and it was only when the sun set that I felt entitled to relax, usually with a book. 

Over the past month, I have been reading numerous books both day and night, watching more movies and tv shows, and even spending more time with friends at time slots that normally I do work.  And here’s the final kicker, instead of getting up early to exercise or do yoga, I was staying in bed longer and getting up and reading.  Yikes, what was happening?!  A part of me has been thoroughly enjoying this down time and after my past year on the wheel of all business and little play, it felt ok for a bit…like a counterbalance.  But there was also a part of me that was judging this behavior as lazy and not quite ok.

Then it hit me.   Limiting my work to smaller chunks of time, enjoying more relaxation and fun, being flexible and flowing, having a better balance in my life…these are the core components I have been wanting.  These are elements that I value strongly.  I only want to work part time.  I want lots of time to explore and simply be, enjoying life.  I want to live in the space of flow where I check and see what I want in each moment rather than going off a script that my mind thinks I should be doing.  I am living how I want…but my mind was still used to being in the old pattern.

Once I wrapped my head around the shift, I was able to let go of the critic and more consciously enjoy this new space…and keep refining it.  I still am not done transitioning, but now that I’m aware of what’s going on, I sure feel a lot better about it.

My daughter was gone last week.  She had a great time with her cousins, aunt and uncle in Florida.  And though I missed her, it was also very quiet and peaceful around the house with one less energy bouncing around creating reactions.  Naturally we all play a role in our reaction patterns, but it was interesting to see that the energy my daughter has in this moment as an almost 14 year old, really is a bit of a volitile substance.

The first night she was back was lovely…catching up on her trip, sharing stories, enjoying the homecoming.  I was basking in the joy of our connection and admiring her humor and insights and how grown up she seemed.  The next day, the warm fuzzies had worn off and back was the rude voice, the attitude, and the strange need she has to take offense at whatever her brother is doing or saying.   And off went my reactions.  It was so much easier to stay centered when there was no opposing energetic force!

The pause and re-start of the reaction pattern gave me a great opportunity to consciously look at what is happening.  I know that I don’t have any control over her behavior and choices in the sense that she is learning about relationships and expression.  I do have control over what I will allow as acceptable behavior and conversation, and how I choose to speak and act in the moment.  And I know that as the parent I have the opportunity to put my words into action and model the behavior of action versus reaction, good conversation versus emotionally venting.

Do I have a plan of action?  Not really.  I have a lot of awareness of what hasn’t been working and I have the willingness to continue striving.  And each day I meditate and ask for the grace to be the best I can be in any given moment.  I am not perfect in my ability to not react in any situation but I am practicing and learning more each day on how I can hold a different space…even if it’s just for a few moments in time.  And for that, I am thankful.

One of the ways we were practicing focus was to keep the mind centered on the breath to help hold the postures, many of which were challenging as the yoga set was around abdominal strengthening.  In holding a pose, paying attention to the breath can help one rise above the distractions in the external environment, in the mind, and in the distractions coming from the body in the form of discomfort.  In fact,the power of the mind is equally as important as the strength in the body to hold the yoga pose or succeed in life – it is the mental focus that helps us stretch enough to sometimes get the job done. 

Yet I also believe and tell students that they need to pay attention to the cues from the body in order to stay within the space of doing their best and not more than their best.   Which means that there is a balance point to how far you can stretch yourself without negative results which arise from going beyond your capabilities.   And it is around this point that the interesting realizations showed up for people…how to blend the two concepts of focus to stretch and grow and the balance of listening to the big picture.

One mom was so focused on holding her breath that while she was able to hold the pose and get through it, she also became a little light headed because she was breathing so strongly.  It was an easy correction.  She simply took a break and then started the next exercise but it brought up a valuable talking point at the end.  Likewise, my daughter, in trying to focus on holding one pose longer in order to keep up with her friend, went beyond her limit in one pose and her back felt sore at the end.  Both cases represented, at least to me, a subconscious focus on an external expectation at the expense of being fully present and listening to one’s needs.

At the end of class we had time to share and reflect.  In talking about focus, it became clear to us all that single minded focus could be helpful but also had some serious side effects.  The general consensus was that focus is important but needs to be held within the balance of the big picture.  And one needs to clarify where to put the focus and the role that expectations play in setting the focus.  There are times when that absolute focus is needed for survival but there can be a cost to the short term. 

What’s your view on focus and your experience with the blend of concentration and balance?

I have been exploring the energies around my yoga in relation to sleep and ideals of yogic practice for a far amount of time, which I have shared in other posts.  The upshot is that the daily ideal expectation of rising in the early hours of the morning and doing a particular set of reading, yoga and meditations which lasts about 2-2 1/2 hours has not appealed to me.  Fine, I let the ideal go but was still searching for how to hold my daily yoga – did it have to look a specific way with a specific amount of time at a certain hour of the day?  I felt inside that it didn’t need a specific structure yet was still internally conflicted.  And why, if I truly know that yoga serves me so well, am do I have such resistance to holding not only the morning ideal and adding more lifestyle pieces?

Suddenly, in a flash of clarity that seems so obvious I can’t believe I didn’t see it before, I got it today.  One of the pieces that first attracted me to Kundalini Yoga in the first place was that it is designed for the householder to integrate into their already busy lives and so can work in small snippets.  I love the idea and reality that a three minute meditation completely shifted a deep rooted pattern for me and expanded my life powerfully.  I love this not only for myself but for my equally busy clients.  In my work as a BodyMind Coach, I am known for helping people discover tools and techniques that add value and create powerful shifts without adding further burdens of time or drains of energy.  I meet individuals whereever they are at and simply start with small, consistent steps forward.  The theme of my work and this energy is that it doesn’t have to be hard, time consuming, radically different or daunting but rather filled with ease, simple integration, effective yet time managable tools.  And this is why I have “resisted” the larger expectations of the yoga lifestyle…it doesn’t fit with who I am, the core truth of myself.   This core truth is that expansion doesn’t have to be life consuming to be effective.  That many paths lead to enlightenment.  That small, steady commitment is powerful.

At least this is my awareness and acceptance today.  Now that I’ve embraced this new awareness, it might open to the door to further expansion in a way that allows me to bring more pieces into my life with ease.  And if I look at what I already do daily, I have already integrated many lifestyle yogic pieces into my life, just not in the exact laid out look of the Kundalini tradition.  And that’s ok because it honors another critical part of my truth…I don’t feel the need to walk an exact path of religion, philosophy or culture…instead I revel in exploring the many faces of truth of different traditions. 

And as I become aware today of these aspects of my truth and how I am honoring them, not only do I have clarity but I also have a deep peace.  Aaah.